In a recent post we had a conversation about how the combination of web based self-services accessed through the browser on my smart phone and voice based self-services accessed over the telephone merged together, allowing me to imagine myself championing over a mythical adventure at the international airport Temple of Doom.
Today I'd like to tell you another story about how a different implementation of self-service tools turned me not into a super hero, but rather into one of those subsidiary plot lines in which the goofy assistant is swallowed by the giant serpent.
On this day I was simply hoping to pay the bill for broadband internet access for my home office as I had done many times before through a self-service website. In the past this service was fantastic. My bank routing numbers were already known by the system. I'd access the appropriate link, log in with my appropriate credentials, click a few times and I'd be done. My bill would be paid on time, the company providing the service got their money and I didn't need to visit a payment location, write a check or even take the time to drop an envelope in the mailbox at the end of my driveway: A win all around.
I don't know about you, but given all we have to do in our busy lives, to me every second spent on this planet not being productive, creative, enjoying friends, family or my personal passions grinds more and more with each passing day. This is especially true when something that I know can be done well is just not cared for in the way that it can be, causing me to use my precious personal time in unproductive ways.
So began what turned out to be my Journey to the Center of the Telephone Self-service Earth.
Like the unwitting sidekick whose days are numbered, I blissfully clicked through to those familiar screens on the "Pay My Bill" website. I soon noticed, however, that something was different. Recently I had made a change to my service. Previously I had a phone number associated with my broadband Internet access account. A recent change meant that I no longer have a telephone number associated with the account.
I made this change because I have been using an Avaya VPNremote for 4600 Series Telephone for about six months. This means that rather than just having simple voice service and a few basic features provided with the broadband package, I now have highly reliable high-quality voice services and the full Avaya feature suite of a traditional office desk phone on an appliance in my home office.
Even better still, using the Avaya VPNremote for 4600 Series Telephone over broadband has cut my home office expenses by more than half each month. Everything I need for voice and data communications are now encapsulated in a secure Virtual Private Networking tunnel across the Internet: One Internet connection for everything; voice, email, web etc.
The first peril on my fateful journey was to learn that everything on the Service Provider's self-service website is driven by a telephone number. Since I no longer have a telephone number associated with my account, I'm stymied at the first few steps of my adventure. Not only this, but looking at my paper bill I discovered that when the phone number was disconnected, the Service Provider assigned me a new account number for my Internet Service. That number is not available in the website profile.
So there I am; it's 6PM on the day my bill is due. On a normal month this would be no problem: Click, click, bill paid. But today, no dice. The website is useless, the business offices are closed and it seems impossible for me to speak to someone and pay my bill. Waiting until morning means incurring late fees.
Like the dutiful minion sent slogging through the vermin infested swamp, I start to figure that if I can find a way to add the new account number to the website, I may still be able to pay my bill before the deadline. After digging through the website for support contacts, I finally decide to call the Service Provider's toll free number. At first I am hopeful. I find myself greeted with a fairly intuitive first level of prompts and the ability to speak my responses. "Progress," I think to myself.
As if instructed by the hero pointing down the dimly lit tunnel, "You go first," I follow the prompts down a level. Blissfully unaware of the danger ahead, I travel down another level on my search to find access to an expert who can help me add my new account number to the self-service website. As if feeling my way over the slippery boulders of an eerily lit cavern, the hope that I may be able to continue my preferred method of online payment remains strong.
Gradually it becomes clear, however, that I have reached a dead end. I will not find what I need in these subterranean branches of touchtone choices.
As I ponder my situation, a vague memory emerges. I recall having heard it like some distant echo in a dank underground chamber, a possible escape route. Where was it among the myriad of monotone instructions?
I resign myself to retrace my steps to find the numeric portal and to use the telephone self-service feature offered as one of the many early prompts I had listened to that will allow me to pay the bill using a credit card. Tomorrow, I think to myself, I'll make the intellectual trek to find website help so that next month, I, the customer, may pay the way I wish.
So I climb back to the top of the phone tree as if cautiously scaling some dangling ancient staircase. I follow the prompts to the "Pay my Bill" option. I reach the "Make a payment" prompts, but suddenly I'm confronted with an unforeseen chasm.
"Speak or enter your telephone number," the irritatingly cheerful new voice instructs.
I think to myself, exasperation growing, "Here we go again."
But then the voice continues, "If you don't know your telephone number, say I don't know." It seems faint daylight is coming from above and I speak clearly, "I don't have a telephone number."
There's a pause, "Speak or Enter Your Telephone Number... If you don't know ..."
"I don't know," I say more precisely and louder as my frustration mounts.
"Please hold," I hear.
Could it be? Have I found a hidden escape tunnel?
Moments later I hear ringing and then a new voice, "In order to serve you better, please say or press your wireless telephone number."
"My wireless number???"
By this point I should know better, but like any subplot character unaware of the danger that everyone in the audience sees coming a mile away, carelessly, I hang up. I dial back into the original toll free number. This time I try to follow the "None of the above," prompt.
Suddenly, as the fateful moment dawns when the villain reveals his trap and the hero must choose between the lowly lab assistant and the beautiful femme fatale, I begin to realize the danger. I feel as though I am on a rickety wooden bridge looking down through the missing slats to see the dark bottomless pit. I step again. "Billing," I say. The imaginary boards where my foot was to land suddenly falls off into the abyss. The sound as they tumble echoes as if the wooden slats rebound off hidden ledges never seeming to hit bottom. My heart sinks as I am informed that I will be transferred to an external service that will be glad to take my payment and charge me with a servicing charge.
As if the old hemp holding my weight finally unfurls and the ancient wooden bridge gives way under my feet, I realize that a significant chunk of my evening, that I could have spent enjoying with my family, has tumbled into the dark abyss along the way to the Self-service Center of the Earth. - GWC 9-14-09
Related discussion:
Self-service Mythic Adventure 18 August 2009
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Posted 29 Sep 2009 at 07:48 PM
Comments
Guy--
Wow; what a colorful and creative description of what so many of us have been through in one form or another! It's true--when the company uses one identifier for everything (phone number, customer number, yellow number on the back of the catalogue) and you don't have that... well, that *is* one instance where self-service isn't the best option. Time to go straight to an agent. Keeping this story in the annuls as "what if a customer wants X but doesn't have Y?"
Posted 8 Oct 2009 at 02:05 PM